We’re not claiming to be city’s leading relationship experts, but we’ve all been there. The tears, regret, remorse, more tears – it’s a never ending spiral into the dark pits of your humanity.
If you’re looking for a post on getting your ex back, you’re better off checking out one of Vancouver’s voodoo experts in relationships and love.
Moving forward and getting a fresh start as soon as possible has never been more essential than it is today. The days of solitude are impossible (unless you move to the moon) since the rise of social networks like Instagram and Facebook. In addition, mutual friends and community events in 2018 don’t make things easy, while Vancouver looks to promote more festivals and outdoor events.
Despite this, the Internet’s dominance over our lives also includes different apps, medical articles, blogs and studies that surround the topic of how to get over that special someone.
Break up brain scans included.
We’ve heard dozens of pointers and opinions to get you back on your feet following a break up. Here's our best advice on avoiding the top 10 bad habits after you part ways.
Bad Habit #1 Compare yourself
Comparisons are often the case in western society. Whether it’s job titles, test scores and homes - relationships are no different.
Inevitably, comparisons always bring heartaches as you try and rationalize your ex partner’s future someone. Thoughts of inadequacy, regret, repent and rue often follow (in that order too!).
As your mama used to say, “never compare yourself to others”.
Bad Habit #2 Poke around their friends
Seriously, don’t do this. It will eventually get back to your ex partner and you’re aren’t doing yourself any favors. Throw in the waste time and you’re just reopening an old wound that is bound to make you miserable afterwards.
Often, their friends will give you a “haloed” account of recent events anyways. Inflating the perception of how your ex partner is actually doing.
Bad Habit #3 Lurk them on social media
Looking up your ex has never been easier these days, but REFRAIN from doing so.
When people post their newest photos and statuses online, they do so in a positive light. Often, you will see the best of someone on Facebook, despite what may happen behind closed doors.
If your relationship has broken down, then avoid the all the confusion and comparisons that social media brings, plus do yourself a favor and delete them from your contact lists immediately.
Bad Habit #4 Don’t stop taking care of yourself and those around you
It’s easy to fall back on bad habits. Substance abuse and overindulgence often follow a bad break. The chemicals inside these things can take away from sleep, health and infect other areas of your life.
Left unchecked, you can find a recent break up effecting your job, purpose and even family.
After you’ve parted ways with your partner, your good habits have never been more important. They keep things in perspective, motivate and give you the drive you need to look forward to what tomorrow brings.
Bad Habit #5 Drunk text, dial, Skype, email, fax or courier
Under no circumstances should you commit any of Bad Habit # 5.
Neediness and a lack of self-control are punctuated in your 2AM messages. Think about the dread you feel the morning after a late night binder, shame and a wonder why you even had your phone within arms reach.
Probably not the smartest thing to do.
When the drinks come out after a bad break, do yourself a favor and turn your phone off while you enjoy the moment.
Bad Habit #6 Pretending you’re totally “fine”
It sucks. You probably had some great times together and are wondering when things started to go awry. It’s natural and countless of human beings have gone through the same thing you are feeling now.
Wallowing in misery as you put on a brave face 24/7 is only self deception though. What counts is what you are going to do about feeling sub par. How committed are you in bettering yourself and focusing on what counts?
Bad Habit #7 Trying to patch things up and be friends after
Space is the name of the game after a bad break. Naturally, you feel shell shocked and want to recoil away. Soon after, you’ll want to reach out to your ex partner in an overly eager and not too attractive manner.
This is a mistake.
Take some time to reevaluate what happened. Some time to reminisce on the good, as well as the bad are best. The sooner you approach the “lets try and be friends” mentality, the sooner you’re asking for more trouble.
If you really need to talk to your ex partner after you’ve parted ways then do so in a clear minded sense and after each of person has had some time to think.
Bad Habit #8 Seek vengeance
You’re not Bruce Willis.
Despite your best efforts, the sooner you accept you can’t change the nature of people is your moment of clarity.
Those who think otherwise are often the same people who struggle to control individuals and cannot get a grip on their own insecurities. Thoughts of vengeance lead to thoughts of pain and your obsessive nature will eventually get the better of you.
Bad Habit #9 Don’t play the blame game.
Don’t ever listen to listen to Yeezy.
The blame game is vicious, never ending, and in the end, you’ll be worse than when you started.
Seeing it in person, I can vouch that putting the blame on yourself or someone never never fixes what is already broken. The best you can do is learn from the lessons of the past and be willing to open your mind up to newer possibilities
No use in crying over spilt milk
Bad Habit #10 Beg
Think about it, would you really want your ex partner coerced into getting back together after you resemble a starving animal?
Spoiler Alert – They’ll eventually resent you for it, and is resentment really a good foundation for any relationship to grow from? It’s like planting tomato seeds in the desert and expecting a chicken to grow.
There are many self-help articles out there that cry vengeance and finger pointing. Hell, even popular songs glorify destruction and vandalizing property.
Getting over your bad break means starting fresh and moving onto better and brighter avenues. That might mean finding a job or buying a new place to live. It's alright to admit to yourself that things are different now that you’ve gone your separate ways but know that it’s always darkest before the dawn.
But hell, what do we know? We’re only Vancouver’s top rated law firm for anything and everything about family – Your new life starts with you.